Finding Happiness When Life Has its Own Plans

johnsonfamilyRecently, a bright, lively, beautiful, capable, involved and all-around amazing woman in our community received the shocking diagnosis of Stage 4 lung cancer. True to her nature, she immediately began to face this unforeseen challenge with strength, courage, calm and even humor.

Openly and honestly, Diane has shared details and feelings about this experience on her CaringBridge website. (Click here for access.) While all of Diane’s posts are engaging and thought provoking, her thoughts on appreciating kindness and finding happiness “when my life is not what I had planned” could benefit all of us.

We are so honored that Diane agreed to share excerpts from her inspirational posts with PermissionSlips readers.

May 1, 2014, 9:26 pm
I have been diagnosed with Adenocarcinoma Stage 4 lung cancer and it has metastasized to my spine in my C4 vertebrae. We were totally and completely shocked at this diagnosis.

[I am undergoing radiation treatments] to shrink or eradicate the existing tumor in my C4 vertebrae. It is not feasible to undergo major surgery like lung removal when another tumor could resurface in another spot immediately thereafter. [Also], this tumor is in a very difficult place to reach, making it nearly impossible to remove. The hope is that chemotherapy will reduce the one existing lung tumor and halt the progression of anything else that might develop.

Will this cancer and chemotherapy be the fight of my life? Yes. I welcome your prayers and wishes for improved health. I will need all the help, miracles, luck and good medicine that I can find.

May 10, 2014, 1:40 pm
I am calling [this] a full offensive attack. I plan to use every means possible to fight against my opponent. I want to meet people who were diagnosed with STAGE 4 LUNG CANCER, [given a 5% chance of survival, like me] and beat the odds. I want to get their advice on what to do as I wage this major battle.

I want to say one huge THANK YOU to so many people who have sent texts, cards, emails, phone calls, visits, etc. with kind and loving wishes for me and our entire family. I can honestly say that the only good thing that has come from this cancer is the touching of hearts I have experienced.  I wish I had been living my life showing my affection and appreciation for everyone in it as much as I am experiencing now.

It is so easy to overlook and rush past a kindness, while forgetting to mention it to the giver. I am going to make it a point to not save these appreciations, compliment and affirmations silently inside of me. We would all be better off if we tried to express these warm thoughts to others more often.

June 9, 2014, 12:09 pm
Well, life has stabilized in the last few weeks. I had my second round of chemo. For the first five days, I didn’t feel well and had a heavy taste of salt in my mouth. I really couldn’t eat. Hah! I guess I was carrying around this spare tire on my waist for a good reason – it was sort of like “nourishment from the mother ship” for a while there! Anyway, after five days, the horrible taste and fatigue decreased dramatically and I reentered the world of the living. Since then, I have felt good and have surprised myself with [my] energy.

The bulk of my thoughts have been on a subject that is rather new to me: HOW DO I FIND HAPPINESS WHEN MY LIFE IS NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED? I think we ALL deal with this to some degree – maybe we are waiting for a promotion, or for our house to sell, or waiting for school to be over, or WHATEVER you want changed in your life. Right now I just have a REALLY BIG subject that is not what I wanted or planned in my life. After interviewing cancer survivors and reading extensively, I am seeing that the most successful cancer warriors simply accept this unplanned life change and look for all the love and goodness around them. As trite as it sounds, it boils down to actually LIVING each day with love, happiness and appreciation.

For me, [what I call] OPERATION 5% involves utilizing all the drugs and treatments from traditional western medicine, and incorporating various whole-body health modalities like massage, visualization, acupuncture, meditation and energy healing.

The last component of OPERATION 5% has been my appreciation for the absolutely overwhelming love and support I have received from my family, friends and extended community. I can’t thank people enough for all the love you have sent my way – meals, dog walks, cards, texts, drive-by hugs, prayers, outings, jokes, jokes and more jokes, kind words, invites for my family, inspirational messages, flowers, emails and so much more. I am feeling the love and channeling all that energy to my T-cells to attack this cancer. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to be fighting this with support from all of you!

June 20, 2014, 10:50 pm
[My first CT] scan showed there has been no advancement of the cancer, my lymph nodes are no longer inflamed and the bone tumor is either greatly reduced or gone and showing healthy bone regrowth. I am tolerating the treatment quite well, and looking and feeling good. Overall it was a very positive review. . . I believe I convinced my doctor that with my personal battle I [call] OPERATION 5%, I INTEND to be one of his cases who beats this cancer back and I INTEND to continue a normal life for much longer than what the textbooks [predict]!

Now I am continuing to be very realistic with my prognosis. . . BUT… I’ll put it this way…when you are given an unexpected, short-term, terminal prognosis at age 54 (while you still have young kids to raise)…and you can beat this thing back a bit…well, I am going to take my five minutes in the sunshine and celebrate.

I am a FULL BELIEVER that all the good karma from my friends has contributed greatly to my OPERATION 5%. I want to ask you to expand that support to someone else in your circle who is fighting their own battle (whatever it may be). Believe me, anything helps – a note, text, hug, joke, book, errands, food, prayers – it all builds up the person in need.

– Diane Johnson for Permission Slips, 23 June 2014
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Comments

  1. Dear Diane, I don’t know you, but am reading your inspiring posts via dear friend Linda Williams. I loved the title of this post and quickly realized my “other plans” of job setbacks, money issues, etc. are nothing at all compared to the battle you’re facing. I have a friend here in NY area who is facing a similar battle (stage 4, but not lung), about the same age, and is now undergoing experimental treatment at Johns Hopkins. You both inspire me to give more, say more, mean more and live more. It sounds like you have a great support system there but if you ever want to “meet” a fellow soldier online, I’ll introduce you to Adrienne. I also follow another really inspiring cancer fighter online, look for “Deborah’s Healing Journey” on Caring Bridge. You may have seen the video that went viral of her dancing in the OR with her nurses before her mastectomy surgery–she is an OB-GYN herself who believes wholeheartedly in the power of dance and movement to heal the body (while, like you, also undergoing all the traditional medical treatments she needs as well). LIke you, the positive energy she brings to facing such a difficult journey is amazing and awe-inspiring. I truly believe in the healing power of all the positive energy, love and prayer you have circled around you and that emanate out from you as well! I’ll be thinking of you, sending prayers and positive energy, and hoping to see more updates on this blog of your continuing recovery. Thanks for sharing your story, it is helpful in so many ways.

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